Let’s Mambo

Three things…

• First of all, Happy New Year. I hope your holiday season was safe and warm.
• Secondly, thank you for donating your time and thoughts to mkromd. In return, I’m pleased to report that we have officially purchased honeybees for Heifer International.
• Thirdly, sorry for the belated post. I was visiting my family in Appalachia.

It was good to go home, but I'm glad to be back. And, I don't know what you were up to at midnight on the 31st, but after kissing DB goodnight and heading up to bed, I laid there thinking about what I did and didn’t accomplish in 2010 and making resolutions for what I intend to achieve in 2011.

Here’s what I didn’t do:

• I didn’t lose ten pounds. Instead, I found fifteen.
• I didn’t read “The Art of Happiness” by the Dalai Lama. Instead, I listened to it on CD… and I lied about it... to a Zen Buddhist Roshi.

No, it's true. I did. Last week, DB and I had lunch with a local Teacher who asked what I thought of the book, and instead of admitting that I cheated, I said, “To quote his Holiness, ‘‘The secret to happiness is honesty and kindness.” And, even though I added, “However, to also quote the great Groucho Marx, ‘If you can fake that, you've got it made,” I’m pretty sure I put another nail in my own karmic coffin. But really, let's be honest... if I get caught on that, it's like catching Al Capone on tax evasion. It's a karmic technicality.

At any rate, this year I vow to:

• Lose fifteen pounds.
• Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua.
• Post every week. I just don’t promise that it will be funny or relevant to anyone but me.
• Run twice a week, and not just to the vending machine for a Snickers.
• Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua.
• Keep my promise to DB and finish, Eckhart Tolle’s, “A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose.” In his defense, he gave it to me two years ago before we started dating. In my defense, I’ve tried to read it. It’s about learning to extinguish your ego, and the thing is… I like my ego. In fact, I like it so much that sometimes I take it to Ann Taylor for shoes or out to dinner and a movie.
• Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua. Not get a Chihuahua.

Did I mention the Chihuahua? You see, my mom has one, and I never thought I would want or love an accessory dog, but I need this animal. He’s five pounds and has the soul of a Mastiff. His name is Cisco, and I cannot walk into a room without picking him up and bellowing out, “Let’s MAAAAMBO!” Then, I’m so shameless that I dance him around the house singing, “Cisco loves Mambo”… Yes, just like Perry Como. And regardless of the fact that my nieces and nephews love when I do it, my mom swears her dog hates it (even though his eyes say otherwise).

Anyway, that’s it for now. I have to get started on the rest of my New Year’s Resolutions. Talk to you next week.